Tips to Help You Talk to Your Partner About STDs

Navigating discussions about sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) can feel delicate, and understandably so. 

Open and honest communication about STDs is crucial in any sexual relationship. Whether you’re experiencing symptoms or have received a diagnosis, the discussion you have with your partner requires tact and sensitivity. 

Being equipped with the right approach can create space for understanding and support, while also addressing concerns about health and well-being. 

Explaining What an STD Is

When beginning the dialogue, it’s crucial to gauge your partner’s understanding of STDs. If they’re unsure or misinformed, take the opportunity to explain in simple terms. Start by defining what STDs are: infections that are typically transmitted through sexual contact. 

Emphasise that these infections can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, or sexual orientation. Offer basic information about common STDs, their symptoms, and potential consequences if left untreated. 

After explaining what STDs are, you can touch on the fact that there are different STDs that are spread through oral, anal and vaginal sex. These are:

• Herpes
• Gonorrhoea
• Chlamydia
• HIV
• Syphilis
• HPV (Human Papillomavirus)
• Hepatitis B
• Trichomoniasis
• Pubic Lice (Crabs)
• Scabies

Talking Points for the STD Conversation

It’s important that you’re very cautious in approaching a sensitive topic of this nature. Here are a few talking points you can use:

Establish a Supportive Environment and Choose an Appropriate time

It’s crucial to prioritise both your safety and comfort when engaging in a sensitive topic with your partner. 

Dr. Mohammad Mohseyni explains, “Creating a supportive environment and timing are vital when discussing sensitive topics like sexual health with your partner. Ensure both safety and comfort, choosing a moment of calm for a productive and respectful conversation.”  

Opt for a moment when emotions are calm and neither of you is caught up in an argument or feeling particularly emotional. This will create space for a productive and respectful conversation.

Initiate an STD Test

If you suspect that either you or your partner may be experiencing symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), both of you need to undergo testing to protect your sexual health. 

You can discuss this by explaining the potential dangers and consequences of leaving an STD untreated. Going together to a private STD facility allows you to support each other and shows that you don’t have to face this situation alone.

Encourage Honesty and Transparency

Stress the importance of honesty and transparency in your relationship, especially when it comes to matters of sexual health. Assure your partner that you’re approaching the conversation with care and without judgement.

Address Stigma

When you acknowledge the stigma or fear associated with STD testing, it provides a level of reassurance for your partner. 

There are various stigmas associated with STDs, including societal misconceptions, such as assuming only promiscuous individuals get STDs, stereotypes like associating STDs with certain communities or lifestyles, and judgmental views that shame individuals for seeking testing or treatment.

This acknowledgement may help them realise that there isn’t anything wrong with checking on your sexual health and talking about it. It’s also imperative that you remind them that STDs can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, or sexual orientation.

What to do When Your Partner Isn’t Open to Talking About STDs

When you’re thinking about having the STD talk with your partner, it’s important to prepare for the possibility that your partner may not respond as openly or positively as you’d like. However, there are effective strategies for handling this situation with tact and understanding.

Seek Guidance from Those Who Understand: Engage with a Trusted Friend or Family Member

When met with resistance from your partner regarding discussing STDs, it can be helpful to turn to someone who has faced similar challenges. Reach out to a close friend or family member who has navigated this conversation in their own relationships. 

They can provide valuable insights, support, and perhaps even share strategies that helped them overcome similar hurdles. Having a confidant who understands your concerns can offer reassurance and perspective as you navigate this sensitive issue.

Suggest Having the Conversation With a Sexual Health Practitioner

When faced with a partner who is dismissive or reluctant to discuss STDs, suggesting a conversation with a sexual health practitioner can be a constructive step forward. 

Sexual health professionals are trained to facilitate open and non-judgmental discussions about sensitive topics like STDs. They can provide accurate information, debunk myths, and offer guidance on preventive measures and testing options. 

What’s the Takeaway?

The takeaway here is that although having a conversation with your partner about STDs might be uncomfortable, there are ways to approach it that make it easier for both of you.

Establishing a trusting environment where sensitive topics are openly discussed is crucial. Approach these conversations with empathy, understanding your partner’s potential fears or lack of knowledge.  Patience and mutual understanding are essential to creating a sense of comfort and safety for both of you.